Imagine you have been caught driving with a blood alcohol level five times the legal limit. When stopped by a sheriff's deputy, do you:

1. Take another swig of vodka, kindly poured for you by your passenger
2. Try to hide under the deputy's cruiser
3. Try to bite the deputy

Trick question! As a Floridiot, the correct answer is "All of the Above".

Fully story at WPTV

Tags: DUI, Martin

Problem: you’ve been charged with possession of child pornography after more than 1000 such images are found on your computer.

Solution: Blame the cat!

According to this Sun Sentinel story, a defendant told detectives he found “strange material downloaded” after his cat jumped on his keyboard while he was out of the room. For 1000 images, that cat must have done a LOT of jumping. No word on wether police have interviewed the cat.

Tags: Nice Try, Martin, animals